better than a white line

-title inspired by the following story of an ahole on a heavy bike and this fantastic Midwestern Rock Band

In the future, I hope that I’m not the one who runs over the ahole who has decided to grace my drive times. He has a death wish or simply doesn’t know how to drive but will try it with massive amounts of aggression.

Last Friday, on my way home, everybody was rocking along, doing the speed limit or better. How rare is that? Loverly.

Suddenly, from seemingly nowhere, a man on a heavy bike (and I keep fixating on this because it’s usually the Young Bucks on Crotch Rockets who act this stoopid) breaks the line for about one mile — a rare, straight stretch of the highway.

What I mean is this is a divided highway. There are two, clearly delineated lanes heading in the same direction. It isn’t a double-line (‘do not cross’). It’s a regular, two lane. However, in the state of Missouri, it is not legal for a motorcycle to make his own third lane by driving on the lines!!

It’s legal in Cali, as when I was hanging with Sheila, some dude did and I nearly crapped myself.

He chose to make his own lane by driving between two columns of traffic. This, again, is not legal and is mental.

It scared me so badly, that I was shaking twenty minutes later, when I got home.

This AM? Guess who I saw? ShitHead. He don’t need no stinking lines on a highway! ‘I do what I want.’

Today, he wasn’t breaking the line. Instead, he was weaving in and out of cars without a turn signal or hand signal. At one point, I yelled at him, ‘You better not make me run you over, you ugly mfer. I’ll be scarred for life!’

He couldn’t have heard me but he must’ve read the ugly mfer part. At the next light, he spent a good minute turning his head around, yelling at me.

Dude. Just go kill yourself where it won’t involve others. Seriously. If he’s a day and night commuter with me? I’m going to lose my mind. He’s too damned crazy for me. Reminds me of what Gram used to say:

‘That makes me nervous as a whore in church.’



9 thoughts on “better than a white line

    • Lily says:

      Truly, I don’t believe it’s legal most places. It’s just too easy for even a car to slightly weave. Do it at the wrong time and at 60mph (or more?). Pulp.


  1. Yeah, CA is special in that it’s the only state that explicitly says it’s legal while other states choose to not specify but leave OTHER laws in place to essentially make it illegal.

    I think what bothers me about lane sharing is the fact that it’s all up to the rider’s judgement and there are not hard and true rules to the practice. I was always told – by my father, who used to be a driving instructor of both cars and motorcycles – that you can’t do it if traffic is moving more than 30mph and that as a rider you shouldn’t be moving more than 10mph faster than the traffic around you (so, 40mph max). I was told it’s used for bypassing heavy slow traffic (not just “too slow traffic”).

    Either way, I agree its wildly dangerous and I don’t think that it has a very big added benefit unless all you do is drive in stopped traffic (405, anyone?


    • Lily says:

      Wow that is great info! Even if he is visiting from california, he shouldn’t be doing that while we were going a minimum of 60. Let alone him going much faster!


      • I don’t travel much, but it seems that – on average – motorcycle riders everywhere just do what they want. If they want to follow the rules, they do. If they want to act like they are not driving with other cars , they do.


  2. What an idiot. He’s already at a huge disadvantage if he tangles with a car (or big rig!) and that behavior is almost screaming, “Hit me!”


    • Lily says:

      By his guessed-age, I even wondered if he wasn’t a Vet from Desert Storm or after with a death wish.


    • Lily says:

      Or the more traditional: nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

      Gram always had a way of getting her point across…often in song. I’m happy to carry on the mentalist tradition!


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