Possession is 9/10 of the Law: my new FedEx truck

It got up to 48F / 9C yesterday! We’re still buried under about 2 inches of ice, though. The next couple of days are supposed to be just as warm, so we’ll probably thaw out but…

Guess what Santa left on the ranch’s private road? A FEDEX TRUCK!

When you live in a remote area that survives winter, you know to pack extra this and that, wear your snowboots even when nobody where you work has been wearing them for a week (they have a different climate, three counties away, not to mention they have infrastructure) and be damned sure you get home as quickly as possible because sunset is 16:30. You haven’t even made it home by then. There’s nothing like getting stuck and hiking in the dark when it’s True Dark. –also, carry a flashlight or three

I went straight home last night and to what did my wondering eyes should appear but a FedEx truck stuck on our road within sight of the county road.

She’d been there since midday. I hiked up and made her a cup of cocoa. Spike went several times to check on her, the last being 20h (8PM) when he proclaimed: I’m telling her to come up out of the cold and sleep on your couch.

My parents are extremely generous with my things. Har! Nah, I’d want her to be comfy, too.

About 21h, I heard Bobby pitching a fit. I assumed they’d brought a wrecker. When you go off our road, there’s a ravine. I’ve personally had my car go 40 feet down into it, which isn’t all the way.

-are the new readers gone yet?

This driver was lucky because she slid off the road sideways into the ravine til one of our nice, big oaks stopped her. The truck is nestled against a 100 year old tree.

On my way out this morning we have a truck but no driver. I assume the noises around 21h was another truck coming to rescue the driver and her packages. -damn! Missed my chance  I still have that truck, though, so it’s a good Christmas!

UPDATE: We still have a truck at 24 hours after. Spike rang FedEx to ask when they were going to come get their truck. They swear they have no truck on our property. free trucks, y’uns!

He spent hours on the phone, transferring around and on hold til somebody said they’d call back. During this time, he bemoaned the FREE GIFT TRUCK to a neighbour who said, ‘Call the cops.’

Cops have visited El Rancho Reedo today but then Spike learnt they don’t just tow away, they charge you. -and hello? My FREE truck?

I’ve already Made Plans.

ReedEx. I designed the logo meself!

ReedEx. I designed the logo meself!


This is my ticket to Freedom. I can start my own delivery, extermination service (I’ve killed hundreds of animals on the ranch, so I’m thinking this is a Natural for me), as it works with the name or cook meth in a mobile lab. I just need to learn how. Killing animals or delivering packages sounds easier.

Spike rang back and told them, ‘Whatever you do, don’t do anything that I have to pay for.’ Good luck with that, Spike. You done brought in Johnnie Law.

FedEx finally rang back and using the numbers from the package delivered, they say, ‘That’s not our truck. We don’t have to sort this. It’s a U-Haul.’

This, to me, sounded Fishy because it sure as hell was a box truck with FEDEX plastered all over it. As I was just sharing this latest development, a bloke I work with said he used to deliver for FedEx and they absolutely rent U-Hauls and decorate them with FEDEX. I say, ‘WHATEVER.’ Either give me the bloody truck or get it off my land. For one thing, it’s blocking the road (a wheel is barely on and that means you can’t risk squeezing by when your choices are: road, ravine or hit truck.




12 thoughts on “Possession is 9/10 of the Law: my new FedEx truck

  1. Good grief! They’ll be wanting to sort it when U-Haul wants to know where their truck is when the lease is up (assuming it is a U-Haul that has been decorated as a FedEx truck).


    • Lily says:

      It certainly looks like a FedEx truck but if what they say is true, then it’s a U-Haul rental dressed as a FedEx.


  2. Craziness! Well, at least they are giving you something interesting happening out where you live? LoL.

    We have a ditch on the side of our little tiny road and have many a trucks in there: a full dump truck (you can still see where they dumped to load to get it out), a full school bus – they had to come rescue the children with a different one, and a city snow plow that Rob was driving. Ha! I have pictures of that one…


    • Lily says:

      Nice! Yeah, we’ve got quite the ditch on the other side. Brother had a long-time girlfriend who used to run the farm truck down into it ALL.THE.TIME. The truck was like a tank, bless it. You had to pull it out with a tractor but it’d just go on!


  3. You’ve got a sneaky little laugh going there at the end of the clip……don’t worry about it’s present branding….just drag it out and repaint it with ‘Lily farms’ colors.

    It’s yours. You deserve it.

    We once had 200 grand worth of bulldozer stuck in our creek for 2 days. I thought it was mine but somebody saw it differently and brought in a bigger dozer to snig it out. I’m still grieving for ‘my’ bulldozer.


    • Lily says:

      Yeah, I’ve been told that I’m evil. I can’t help but think it’s funny that everybody thinks life is sooooo easy. Har!

      Did you see the logo I created ‘from’ FedEx’? I rather like that since it’s more than half done 🙂


  4. I think it’s a Christmas Miracle! Someone wants you to have a truck to go with that awesome logo you created. See if you can get “it’s not our truck” in writing from FedEx.


    • Lily says:

      I just got home TONIGHT (2nd day) and we have Movement: 2 fellers came out today and moved it OFF our private road–deeper into the ravine!

      There’s a wrecker here (down on county road) and he says he can’t get it out, especially as one man but also as he’s a WRECKER. They of course need a winch truck what-with it being down a ravine (only about 20 feet down but even I know 5 feet down needs a winch).

      So, I currently still have possession!

      I did nicely tell him not to tear up our road (which I cannot see how they’ll avoid).


  5. LOL @ ReedEx – clever. Walking/public transport requires the same sort of preparedness (not to the same degree though) as you when compared to my coworkers who walk from kitchen into garage into car into carpark into office. I walk out of the house either looking like I’m about to trek to a Pole or carrying items that might be required to reach the Pole should weather deteriorate during the day.


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