reviews, Monster. With some improvements.

I like the Monster, not so much any other of your caffeinated BS ‘energy/health’ drinks.

I love the zero calorie, carbonated Ultra Zero (basically a white and silver tin with a tetch of baby blue, NOT the baby blue tin with similar colours, thatshitnasty).

It’s citrusy and what I’d call a hyper-caffeinated ‘Squirt.’ -Gram’s highball of choice was Gin & Squirt If you don’t have Squirt, it’s a little like Fresca.

Great with vodka!

I drink Monster ‘orange’ or ‘green’ REHAB, too. Their Rehab line is 20cal/ tin and has a tiny bit of juice in (do not fool yourself that it’s healthy), caffeine and NO carbonation.

They are orangeade and pineapple-ade flavoured, respectively, though the green tin says it’s got green tea in. I’m not saying it doesn’t. I’m saying it tastes like pineapple and both go well with vodka, particularly mango vodka but plain works, too.

I’ve foraged into their Java line, as well.

They only have one ‘lite’ version, vanilla, and I find it sickly sweet. This isn’t to say the full fat, full sugar versions aren’t also like sucking down melted ice cream shakes, because they are!

I’m saying they’re less sweet-tasting, probably due to an artificial sweetener in the former.

At any rate, I don’t love any of the 4 I’ve tried but this was 1/2 off and I thought an experiment with Whiskey could bring me no possible harm, right?

Each tin is 2 servings at 200 whopping calories each (400 total) and very sweet–and slightly thick. It’s sweeter than your average homemade (or pub) Irish coffee IMO. Then again, this isn’t my swill of choice.

I like it, though, tastes like Christmas in July.



8 thoughts on “reviews, Monster. With some improvements.

  1. Whiskey choice – good (though confused why an Irish whiskey is Republican). But my god, how can anyone drink Monster!?!

    I have never let this past my lips, but MiddleSon drinks it, and the smell of it makes me feel nauseous.


    • Re: Monster

      A friend has a friend at the factory and pushed several test sips along the way.

      Almost all are disgusting but as I mentioned, I LOVE the rehab (this is important as it’s not full of sugar and has actual good stuff in it IF you’ve been working hard outside in the Ozarks or at the gym, the rehab line is sort if sugar free Gatorade with nutrients added and a drop of juice). I also quite like the orange and ultra. All named.

      As to the other ones, no thanks.

      I’ve so tried a couple RockStar and Redbull. All even grosser than any monster on a bad day but taste is subjective.

      Also, if I’m wanting to drink and equal out the effect, a mixer of ultra or rehab works for me. It’s a common thing to red bull and vodka but that stuff is just awful.


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