One of my mammy’s FAVOURITE sayings but the proper way round.
Anyhoo! Thumping noises then people squeals and chatter caught my attention. A gander was beating his brains out — boxing his reflection — in an attempt to keep his young lady safe for nesting on our front lawn (at work).
As I left the room, I went outside and drove him back to the front lawn. He had knocked several feathers loose and was walking quite oddly. He’d really done himself a bad turn!
He came back a couple hours later and was far more aggressive — but I’m not scared.
I’m a fecking hillbilly for fuck’s sake. He got so that I changed from my usual Doolitttle voice to Ta: ‘I can fucking kill you and if I do, I’ll eat you. Go home to your wife, like I said, now.’ He fucked off.