Took The Duchess to see Magic Mike XXL cos it’s cool to take elderly, handicapped folks to see male strippers and I was hoping to shock her as a lark.
Then went to Trader Joe’s and that was incredibly not fun from having to leave within 5 minutes because she wanted to eat RIGHT THEN. –though I’d fed and watered her right before–she’s fecking spoilt
I only wanted a few things and already was heading to check out. We’d have been in the car, leaving, if she had not a meltdown-MEMEMEMEMEMEME-fest.
I bribed / pacified her with a Ritter Sport chocobar, paid and got her into the car.
She wanted to go to Cheeseburger Cheeseburger. As with toddlers, I didn’t know what she was talking about, ‘You want a cheeseburger…from MacDonald’s?
‘NO, from that Cheeseburger Cheeseburger place!’
I tried not to lose my temper -but was irritated because seriously she can behave better than this, she’s in public and wanting extra attention I explained, ‘I don’t know where you mean, remember, I don’t get to eat out, so I don’t know the places around any given area.’
‘It’s next door!’
That meant in the same plaza or we had passed it on the way. Manchester Road is split where we were (one way on either side of the plaza), so, if we passed it, this was going to be a huge PIMA.
Nope! It was in the same plaza, just not next door.
‘I’ll wait in the car.’
Out I go across the plaza into this place, which was by the way called Cheeseburger Cheeseburger. Hell, she’s right sometimes.
Ordered her food, waited 10 minutes for takeaway and headed out; there’s a handy ‘pedestrian box’ right outside, so pedestrians won’t get run over.
Luckily for me:
- I was not text-walking (phone was in bag)
- I was WITHIN the protected pedestrian box
- The lady only bumped me, didn’t physically run me over
She, like so many others, was driving WAY the fuck too fast in a car park, let alone, to be whipping into a space, let alone, right next to the pedestrian exit.
I’m ALL about driving fast on roads. Car parks, also known as parking lots, are not motorways. People are stopping, getting in or out, backing up with traffic going both ways, etc.
DO NOT DRIVE FAST OR EVEN MODERATELY IN A CAR PARK you wretched, little, entitled cunts.
No, I did not fall to the ground screaming for the police or an ambulance, which I should’ve done just in case.
I was terribly shocked.
All the lady said, as she immediately threw open her car door was, ‘OH MY GOD I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY!’
Not an ‘are you okay?’ If she had asked, I’d still probably have said yes and moved on.
I got Dutch’s fucking cheeseburger to her and sat shaking in the car, trying not to cry. My arm was red where it had been smacked by the fender. There was road grime in a line from my fingers, up my arm. I washed in the sink but this is remaining til I shower.
I’ve said it 100 times: I am a lucky bitch!