Take me to the river

Regular readers already saw this from earlier today, as I panted in the early afternoon heat and humidity after an interview.

I walked an half-mile in pumps to take this, you ungrateful shits.

-the new readers, obviously, my regular 3 readers are the best, etc., etc.

Then, I turned around and took this of the railroad next to the river coz if it’s 2 things Midwesternerss love, it’s our FINE assortment of waterways and railways.

I hiked back to my car and ate my packed (in a cooler) salad.

I then googled the nearest Target, as I had some things to pick up, anyway.

Dr. Google took me to  the world’s saddest Target. Their ‘pantry’ section was minuscule. They don’t even sell any given brand of sauerkraut. I realise, this may cornfuddle some Flatlanders but in MISSOURI, by crackin,’ you have a staple of Teutonic tasties! Let me clarify: MY Target isn’t one of those new Greatland/ Super ones. I’m used to a now subpar Target. Hell, I like it that way. Keeps out the snobs and the roughians are afraid of socialists, so it’s uppity hillcats where I go!

-where was I?

Sad. Maybe there’s another one a bit farther away? I get the feeling that there is not.

The Super-Valmart on your way in from the east and regular Valmart next to Target-land is the way it plays in Jeff City. This town doesn’t like Commies.

At any rate, I headed the sportwagon back to near-ish STL.

But I had to stop and see what was up with these Osage Trail, Lewis and Clark and Clark’s Hill historic warning buoys!

-he keeps trying to warn us but do we listen???

I stopped a farmer on a tractor – you realise this is 100% true?

Shit, man, he was smoking a pipe and driving a tractor down the road? Himses my kinda peoples.

He told me:

Ignoring his Wisdom, I parked and started up the trail in my comfy sandals (slides). It’s only a mile trip, granted fairly steep one way and worse, just as steep but without ‘brakes’ on the return.

Safety first! I locked the car –unlike me and took my keys, leaving everything else behind. In 38C. Alone. Steep.

When I got to the top, I found this couple who’d been trapped in Amber since the 1980s:

FINE! I stole this from the publicity site for the…site.

Only maybe 1/3 of the way up, after sliding and sliding in 2 inches deep muck and nearly ‘breaking both arms and both legs’ as Mammy’d say, I decided it wasn’t worth getting hurt too badly to pull myself out and without WATER and in an interview dress and WAHHHHHHH.

FINE! The farmer who lives on the road was right.

As a booby-prize, here’s another farmer washing his rig whilst I filled my tank on the way home.


2 thoughts on “Take me to the river

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