On this day in 2015, Bobby was murdered

Of all the odd things, I took a self-portrait.

I found the pieces of his butchered body but couldn’t bring myself to collect or even remove them from the road.

I sobbed so hard for about 2.5 hrs.

At that point, I assumed that he had been hit and hit and hit by passing vehicles.

It was Spike who discovered the truth: he had been shot, mangled and dumped on the road to disguise the deed.

He was the 4th dog within 1.5 miles this happened to in a 2 month period.

I had to speak with the Countyseat, Police, Animal Welfare and others.

They kept apologising for very detailed and specific questions. I told them I didn’t have the energy to be affected in the moment, go ahead.

The perpetrator wasn’t found but we have 2 neighbours who like to say with pride that they’re dog killers.

Naught so queer as folk.

I took the photo to remember how very tired I was, just numb with fatigue and I suppose still shock.

I recall thinking that I could do this because people whose human babies were killed had to answer the same gruesome questions.

It was a learning experience.

  
Most of you don’t know me IRL but for those who do, this is a look of emotional and intellectual exhaustion. 

Losing my mammy and my best friend (from age 3 at age 17) nearly killed me. Losing Bobby, who was special needs was a different kind of thing. I spent 6 years doing everything I could to make him comfortable and happy. I couldn’t help him in the end and that was what bothered me most. I failed him.

I know…don’t get me wrong–the fuckhead who did it was at fault. But I’m saying the internalisation was, I failed him in the worst way. 

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “On this day in 2015, Bobby was murdered

  1. No. You spent 6 years making his life happy and fun. He obviously adored you.

    Those evil fucktards that live nearby you are to blame. 100%. Sending you a virtual hug on this tough day.

    Like

  2. Piss flaps! Sorry. I catch up with your posts as and when. The videos of Bobby frolicking were a favourite thing because my job means I can’t have a dog of my own. Because it wouldn’t be fair on the dog.

    Like

    • Yeah, B’s shooting, dismemberment and strewing along the county road SUCKED.

      Got AceTheMightyAryan, though. He calls me the Big Jew and Mum’s his sweet little baby Jew; treats her like a princess.

      Like

I like it when you talk to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s