home fuckage, part 2

Pre-jackhammering out wall & subfloor. 

I’m strongly considering dragging my sick arse to town tomorrow to be away from said jackhammering.

I stayed in bed 15 hours from last night til noon, then drove the Big Rig to get vinyl flooring and B Grade countertop. We unloaded 264 sq ft of floor (it’s heavy) and a little over 5′ of counter, then began working on it but didn’t have enough wood glue. We live too far out for a run for GLUE. I’ll pick it up tomorrow or whenever coz that’s like the last thing that will be unfucked.

Kitchen:

  
Bath:

  

What Bart Simpson and I have in common… (stop squeaky orthotics)

 

Bart Simpson orthopaedic shoes

Bart’s orthopaedic shoes

orthopaedic shoes

my orthopaedic shoes

I wore braces on my legs as a toddler. I graduated to orthopaedic shoes as a girl. ‘Wanna hear about my six foot surgeries? The first was when I was nine years old!’

 

-are the new readers gone yet?

A little over a year ago, I got prescription orthotics for trainers. 

Serious Orthotics ‘always’ squeak and I mean loudly. When I first got them, I asked. ‘You’ll get used to it.’

I’ve worn them over a year and coworkers mock every.freaking.day. I hate it, too, but there’s nothing like getting constant shit as a grownup for your gimp anatomy.

Yesterday, I googled, ‘make orthotics stop squeaking.’

baby powderBaby powder. Done. *

You take out the normal insert, pull out the hard plastic orthotic, dump a bunch of baby powder (I was afraid that I was using too much but they said use a lot), replace the orthotic, put in MORE baby powder, then replace the normal insert.

I mean, this wasn’t a tiny squeak. This was haunted house door hinge creaking squeaking–silenced. It’s like winning a thousand bucks!

Or like an early birthday present! -you can buy me something now and have plenty of time to get it in time for my birthday. I see no reason to not be this obvious.

 

* They said you will have to repeat the process but with baby powder? YEAH, I can do this!

 

 

 

 

Rose petal Bath Salts

rose petal bath salts

rose petal bath salts

After taking a soak in 2T of this, I smelled all girlie and pretty and loverly!

  • dried petals from one rose
  • about 1/2 C salt (I used a mixture of table salt and sea salt crumbles)
  • about 1/4 C epsom salts
  • about 1/4 C baking soda
  • to boost the rose: 3 drops of rose absolute
  • about 12 drops geranium oil
  • 3 drops patchouli

Pulse the mixture until it’s evenly distributed and standardized consistency. I put some in a spice bottle and the rest in my bath and to my mother.

Geranium oil is an old perfumer’s trick to boost or make up for the far more expensive rose oil. I didn’t use a ton of rose oil because I prefer geranium, go figure. I also adore patchouli but many people do not. I’ve received unsupportive comments from coworkers when I used to wear patchouli deodorant. I still sneak some in — it works well in this combo as rose and geranium are strong. As I used a red rose, the mixture turned pleasantly pink!

Everybody knows that I digress and my mind hops from one thing to a slightly-related other thing…All this talk of roses at the same time as Mardi Gras in NOLA was celebrated early?

NSFW (actually, the video isn’t ‘video,’ it’s a tiny clip of the song from a recent live show — there are some Words in the full version, so you’re warned just in case)

DIY dark chocolate

Dear Lindt Family, please send me your recipe!

This may be delicious but it’s CERTAINLY not 90% cocao, which is my favorite chocolate from Lindt–what I’d LOVE to make on my own. A buddy showed me Lindt in fact makes a 99% cocao bar, too, but those are harder to come by (I get 90% at Target for 3USD and found the 99% at Amazon.com for 6USD+5USD shipping=11USD each)!

From a hippie on the internet:

These are based on the Carob Chips from Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon Morell.

Melt together over low heat:

  • 3/4 cup cocoa powder
  • 1/4 cup rapadura (evaporated cane juice) or equivalent amount of stevia or honey
  • 1 cup virgin, unrefined coconut oil
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Pour mixture on parchment paper lining a cookie sheet. Harden in refrigerator.

I think it would be great to use cocoa butter as the fat and I wonder if you could get away with no sweetener? Anybody?
I’m deathly allergic (trip to hospital) to agave, so you’ll never see me use agave. I’d rather use sucanat, honey or stevia (but stevia tastes funny) if I must.