Belated mincemeat pie *

Bubbling! –that shite’ll scald you like napalm. Kinda is napalm…

Ugly AND delicious!

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* Macpsych waxing Chrissytime about mincemeat today reminded me that I’d forgotten to bake one? Enter the Oven (and a huge mess, including my bakery cloth & board, various implements of destruction and cast iron.

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speaking of cheap shopping: Aldi’s (gluten free)

I pop into Aldi’s now and then but I can’t afford them, either. You should see the looks I get for saying that.

I’m not saying they have expensive food. I’m saying what I buy there is cheaper where I normally shop. I don’t do a whole lot of ‘snack crackers.’ You may clean up on those. And they’re sneaky motherfuckers. And I use that term for emphasis.

Their soya milk is seemingly a bit cheaper then your garden-variety soya from a regular shop. It matches what I’d normally pay -where I buy it cheaper than most places — not Target, btw, those mfers raised the price   UNTIL YOU LOOK AT THE OUNCES. Sure, one container equals the cheap bastard price at the cheap bastard’s place for getting it. I almost fell for it til I picked it up.

‘This feels funny.’

This isn't a hawk, it's a buzzard, but when they swoop down at your head, they kinda look the same.

This isn’t a hawk, it’s a buzzard, but when they swoop down at your head, they kinda look the same.

It’s in a different-shaped container and guess what? It has fewer ounces of product. You know what that means? It’s more expensive. SNEAKY!

As with everything, you have to watch them like freaking hawks.

Where was I?

I’ll pop in because there’s one in the plaza where I use the post office after work. Just walk on over and all, y’all. While I’m there, -can you sing-song as the nieces-3 do as Ta repeats her favourite things?  I price-check anything I’d normally purchase.

-are the new readers gone yet?

Since I’m Celiac, I can’t do most processed foods. Not to worry, I still drink booze and can cook up a storm, so I’m well-padded.

A coworker gets alerts from Aldi’s: this week (the first week of May 2014), they’re debuting a line of gluten free convenience foods. I nearly broke theGoogle trying to find this for you. After three attempts, I’m giving up. I just don’t effing care to advertise something I’ve never tried. BUT I saw her alert and it used little images of packages with matching branding, so you can tell they’re a GF line. There were things like PIZZA and pasta.

They’re truly stupid for not putting this out there more. Maybe they were going to do and suddenly lost the GF status due to factory mishaps. Keep an eye out if you shop at Aldi or if you are Celiac. It may be a better choice for cheap bastards like me. At least for that.

Gluten free Springy Cupcakes

I put the kids to work, of course. We made lemon gf cupcakes, then lime buttercreme (coconut oil, confectioners sugar and lime juice) frosting dyed light green, then sprinkled coconut shreds that were dyed darker green (green with a little blue).

They are rather good! #3niece was given the most demanding task of cracking open eggs. #1niece held melting oil (safety as she’s eldest) and #2niece got to run the 350 watt Kitchaid Stabd Mixer.

The eldest two did the frosting and they all 3 sprinkled. 🙂

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I was far too busy to photograph as I broke a glass yesterday! What a blooming mess that makes. I hadn’t done that in 10 years. Stoopid cervical spine.

recipe, gluten free Rosemary and Olive Oil snack crackers

I could've tried cutting them but why bother when you can experience the joy of breaking things with your bare hands?

I could’ve tried cutting them but why bother when you can experience the joy of breaking things with your bare hands?

I’ve written about the addiction I have to a certain Rosemary and Olive Oil Snack Cracker. The box contains 4 servings -bullcrap! but I’m extremely proud if I can make it last two.

In the interest of saving money and slightly healthifying it, I done tried my own.

I used a pizza stone because I foresaw this being an Issue in removing from a pan, once finished. I can’t say what it would’ve been like because I avoided future disaster by baking on a perfectly flat surface (no edges). The downside is a pizza stone takes longer to cook but this is Midwest winter, so that wasn’t a downside. I don’t recall how long they were in, as usual, I bake by smell more. When I started smelling both the spice and a ‘browning,’ I started checking on them until I decided to remove them from the oven. You can tell from the photo, the edges were truly browned while the inside was not. I also foresaw this and almost laid the dough out in two strips, to promote more browning (providing more edges) but was that lazy and didn’t. I suggest doing that if you like the browned bits, as I do.

  • 1/4C white rice flour
  • 1/4C white sorghum flour
  • 1/4C tapioca starch
  • 1/4C quinoa flour (note, I normally avoid quinoa as it causes GI distress but I already have this and reckoned testing in a small amount)
  • 2T Olive Oil
  • 1/2t rosemary
  • 2T chia seeds
  • water to make dough
roll, roll, roll

roll, roll, roll*

outside browner than inside, see?

outside browner than inside, see?

Toss it all in together save the water. Add water little at a time, I started with 1/4C and think it took about half as much more. I don’t enjoy measuring, although I did use a tablespoon (T) to keep my additions consistent. You know it’s right when it looks like dough. I smooshed it out on the pizza stone –why make more mess? and used parchment paper (waxed paper is fine) and the nearest rolling pin -mine happened to be a bottle of pineapple rum to smoosh out. Bake at 400F til done. Break up or cut. As the inside dries, it will harden but it’ll be a wee bit pliable before them. The edges will break very easily (so does the inside but it won’t ‘crackle’ when warm).

 

* Roll, roll, roll…

#paleo #gf Delicious Cookie/ Biscuit ‘base’

Tom Thumb gluten free cookieI made these this weekend, only one batch -I never make a single batch!  cos I didn’t feel great.

I used store bought boughten, as we say in the Ozarks orange marmalade, lemon curd and strawberry preserves but made date filling. I almost made fig filling, too, but I was getting tired. -again, just wanted to curl up in a crampy ball instead of doing anything

-are the new readers gone yet?

Mix wet with wet, dry with dry and incorporate, like any recipe. Bake at 375F / 190C for about 30 minutes or just starting to brown.

ingredients cookie base

You can see the single serving nutritional data at bottom. This makes 32 cookies. I used a tablespoon to pick some up batter and roll into a ball then smoosh with my hands in either a Tom Thumb style for filling or flat for not-filled.

Oh! And I decided at the last second to toss in crushed pecans for the flat biscuits. It came away with a Pecan Sandie-like flavour but not  texture. -so don’t come crying to me that it wasn’t crumbly enough!

It’s my party and I’ll bake my own cake [gluten free / Celiac]

I got Gold Rum on special offer (regular 23USD, it was 11USD). I’ve never purchased gold rum, so I was nervous but for $11 and 1.75L? Mehohkay. In googling what to do with it, up popped a lot of baking recipes. This means it’s probably not so loverly to drink (think ‘cooking sherry’).

Gee, your cake smells delicious

Gee, your cake smells delicious *

My birthday is Friday and that means I will not be in a mood to bake Thursday night to make a gluten free cake for myself and the ingrates at work. -only a couple of people will try anything gluten free I bring in. Didn’t blink an eye through years of non gluten free. Granted, most gluten-free food (particularly ‘faux foods’ or things that are supposed to be a gluten-free version of X) is dodgy. Still, try it if I bothered to bring it.

All the more reason to use booze!

This was interesting as I rarely cook with booze. I do but the Reed in me doesn’t care for the idea of cooking alcohol out. I mean, what’s the point? I’m old-hat at whiskey-soaking, bourbon-balling, rum-tipsy-ing, though. -that’s ‘live’ alcohol

This cake is both: it’s cooked in (out) and soaked ‘live.’ WHEE!

gluten free gold rum cake above.jpg

It’s vanilla cake with pumpkin pie spices, walnuts and LOTS RUM inside and out, well, soaked in after baking.

* I used no special filters on these photos but I did put the cake OUTSIDE to photograph. The angled shot allows for elegance, no? Seriously, this cake has more than 2 cups of rum in it. You’re welcome. It’s a standard ‘tipsy’ cake type of soaky-glazy-not-glaze-thin-syrup** (meaning not a hard sauce, which is like boozy-gravy and not a glaze that leaves a sort of well, you’ve seen glazed doughnuts).

**Since I don’t measure:

  • 1+ C  gold rum (I used Bacardi’s)
  • 1/2 C melted oleo (I used coconut oil but have been known to use Earth Balance, since I can’t do dairy; when baking for others, I’ll use butter; hence ‘oleo’)
  • As much powdered sugar as it needed to be thin and pourable but not so thin that it wouldn’t congeal — I’m going to guess that I started with 1.5 C and added if more was needed. When I do these glazes, I go in assuming that 1/2 sugar is the starting point.