Poor little Rich Girl

Okay, I’m not rich. As a matter of a fact, I think that I’m currently 1400USD from the poverty line. How in the world do I have such nice things, make so little money yet not carry debt?

My mammy grew up during The Great Depression. In my region, it’s still going on from then. So, ya know. Decades of practise? -plus, I have friends who have nice things

Where was I?

I’m the only human who could complain about having to drive a Cadillac. Let me explain. -sort of

First and foremost: I do not like driving other peoples’ cars.

  1. the risk involved with effing up YOUR shite
  2. most cars aren’t built for my diminutive frame; when I buy a car, no matter how much I otherwise like it, if I can’t easily arrange myself to SEE and steer? I don’t buy it
  3. due to #2, I probably can’t see, reach the pedals or steer your car
  4. this is dangerous
  5. if I’m borrowing your vehicle, it ain’t for no joy ride; my car is broken and that means…
  6. now I have to wait however long to see however much money it’ll take to pay for my car to be fixed
  7. fuel is dear; my car is a ‘sipper,’ yours is not
  8. I forget what 8 was for but
  9. since I’m borrowing your car, I’m burning at least $25 a day to run it
  10. your car smells of smoke and cigarettes
  11. your car doesn’t play nicely with my sunglasses, phone charger or purse
  12. there are no tissues for my allergy schnoozle and I normally don’t have to think about this and the 27 other things including…
  13. I have to transfer my shopping bags from my car to yours and back and probably will leave them in the wrong place
  14. out of habit, I pull up to fuel pumps on the wrong side of the vehicle, get out, swear loudly and have to move the car, scaring small children and old ladies

I could go on.

My car’s electrical issues have reasserted themselves. I haz no lights. In winter — especially in a remote, forested area with no street lights, we’re lucky to have ‘streets’ -sort of — it’s impossible to see or be seen without lights.

So! I’m kvetching when I’m perfectly fine, driving a borrowed Cadillac or the largest 4×4 GMC makes, depending on which vehicle I have access to on which day, other than aggravated by having to pull a Mr. Magoo on the world til I get my car back at an undisclosed time for an undisclosed price.