‘that’s a sizable snake’

I’d put Acey outside to babysit The Duchess. He’s completely smitten with her. It’s funny and I’m glad of it.

As Dutch would do…she went inside and left poor Acey out there. Now, mind you, he’s fenced, cross-fenced and gated. Still. I don’t trust his arse at all. Bobby was an escape artist.

He started barking and as of day 3, I’m learning: this boy is a barker. Granted, he’s all nerves and scardey-dog but any sound makes him at least start, then commonly bark. Hell, he growls at Spike every time he goes out the door or turns a corner.

He’s barking and I’m thinking, ‘We’ve gone over this. It’s the neighbours over the south woods. They’re huge partiers and their dogs are just as loud as they are. He’s barking at them again. I’ll leave this go for a tad and see if he gets used to it.’

I had also looked out the window to be sure he’s okay. He was standing in the back yard barking. No worries.

He continued and finally, I figured that I’d personally had enough (read: allowed Ace to train me, which isn’t a good thing but I was getting irritated by it), so I went outside. I didn’t say anything but he cowered and ran behind me. I spoke kindly to him — he’s learning — but went to check out the area anyway.

You see, earlier today, Ace met a Lizard. Lizards are fun but scary. He was just going to make friends -or eat it when the thing up and HISSED at him! ZOINKS! That was scary but Sissy told him he was okay, so he went back to shake paws and stomped on its back, breaking it. I was going to do a mercy killing but it dragged itself off too quickly. I reckoned it was another lizard or heavens-to-Betsy, maybe another reptile, like a turtle. I hate it when dogs kill turtles.

I went over and he followed. Finally, he got enough courage to sniff the ground and that definitely alerted me. There had been something there. He wasn’t barking at phantom neighbours…

So, I began searching a bit more closely but–

I wasn’t wearing my spectacles.

As the saying goes, if it’d been a snake, it would’ve bit you!

I almost tread on a 10 foot snake.

It was the biggest snake I’ve seen in my life. -at El Rancho Reedo

Just like when somebody tells me they saw a ghost, I think that they imagined it — I don’t blame you for thinking or saying, ‘There are no 10 foot snakes in Missouri. The biggest ones reach 6 feet or so.’

I beg to differ.

Growing up in the Big Woods, we have bears and mountain lions. Bet you haven’t seen one of them where you live in Missouri! Things are a little different here. -people are a little ‘different,’ too

Previously, the largest snake I ever saw was upwards of 8 feet long. I say this because we threw its carcass over a 4 foot high fence and it dragged the ground on either side. That was back in the 70s or maybe early 80s. You don’t see them that big, normally.

This one, with only sandals (they’ll bite, though aren’t venomous) and no implements of its destruction, means I let him go. Now, truly, I’m a snake-lover. They eat other snakes and bugs and mice, etc. They’re good to have around.

I went to tell The Duchess and Spike because seriously, I almost tread upon the thing and it had been on the pavement/ gravel around our house, not in the Big Woods or pastures.

I only said it was the biggest snake I’d ever seen when Dad asked, ‘How big was it?’

‘Well, from right here, it stretched as far as the garden.’ -approximately 200 feet

‘That’s a sizable snake.’

But really. Dad said we simply cannot have a bitting (I’ve been snake bitten a few times where they broke the skin, twice by venomous snakes) snake at the house. I went out and got a shovel -and took Ace but didn’t find it in a search of about 300 feet of the house. We have a lot of land and it could live -and has done for itself, obviously well without coming up to the house. While I hope he sticks to the woods and pastures, sometimes they like a certain area for a while. I’ll have to keep an eye to the ground, even in the yard.