It’s important to point out Brother made a real effort at coming all the way here for my bday, what-with DeadMum and Spike who doesn’t give a crap and all my friends living as far away as Brother (or farther).

I got 4 cards, a balloon and a group song, which was nice!

I’m uses to a bit more festivities (my own planning but I’m the Planner / Caregiver) but I didn’t plan anything, so there’s that. I’ve been literally distant (as I no longer even work in a populated area) and didn’t feel like expending my energy to create something. Thanksgiving and Christmas as Matriarch are painful enough at 44-45.


Went to check Spike this morning and he wished me happy birthday, which is nice.

I went to hug him and we did that awkward 4 tries before settling on a quick, faraway hug in which he patted my shoulder twice. ‘Okay.’

Then broke.


Odd when dealing with somebody who only ever cared for two people  (his mother and his wife). –scratch that, he liked one sister

homemade pumpkin spice coffee (paleo, too!)

DGAF ’bout Haters. I work in a high security gulag with rapists and murderers literally surrounding me and walk alone amongst them — try hundreds when it’s their yard time — me and them all cosy-like.

Saying mean things to me about my taste preferences never bothered me before -thanks, bad parents! but now?  TRY HARDER, MOTHERFUCKERS!

-are the new readers gone yet?

I recently got the Pumpkin Pie seasoning from my new fav spice maker and it’s lovely. I wanted to see how badly I could eff it up but turns out, it’s pretty damned good.


Postcards, not! Bday cards

Thanks to Sheila! The fun,  rightmost card.

To the left is a scrap of notepaper sent by one of our family friends, now about 90yo and for some years in an old folks’ home–a very nice one but they’re all shite once you get to the point of supervision and become nonambulatory.

It reminded me that a few years ago she had told my mother that she hated not being able to send spectacular (my insertion) greeting cards anymore as her son and DIL wouldn’t come to take her shopping. She was still ‘with it’s then.

I had asked The Duchess why didn’t she do it and she didn’t really have an answer. I think the truth is it would have been a big commitment.

Anyway…upon seeing Lorraine’s note, ibrecalled that Convo and realised at this point, she doesn’t even have cards, not even blank notes. For a Premiere Card-sender, what a drag!!!

I dug out Dutch’s selection of greeting cards –when you live a 2 hr drive from shopping areas and farther from ‘a mall,’ you keep shite onhand and placed them in a grocery bag with some Hallowe’en candy.

I made Spike (rather an amusing tale) go with me.

Lorraine didn’t recognise me but she did Spike. I had to use the Reed charm to convince her that I didn’t need the cards. She kept trying to pick out a few so I could keep the rest. I have no intention of using somebody else’s cards (which I had gone through to be sure) when I can get my own and Lorraine cannot!

We stayed about 30 minutes, which was enough for her to ask how I was doing 4 times and for me to repeat the same things. I got to hold her hand and stroke her shoulder, which was nice.

Spike hated the whole thing but he’s never been much for Caregiving.

Oh! HILARITY: they made Spike where a LARGE ‘visotor’ placard.

I suppose he looks like an inmate! 

Weeding / snakeskin

after a long hiatus from posting updates for this blog to twitter, I’ve reconnected; it was well-meant as I was being vigilant with the thennewcivilservantgig 

Same me. Same lame BS. Case in point: